1 00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:04,237 - ♪ MTV ♪ 2 00:00:06,673 --> 00:00:08,876 [chuckling] 3 00:00:08,909 --> 00:00:11,812 [bluesy rock music] 4 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:17,517 ♪ ♪ 5 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:25,992 - [humming] 6 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:28,028 - Took you long enough, dumbass. 7 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,531 Where's our nachos? [chuckles] 8 00:00:30,597 --> 00:00:32,099 - I didn't get nachos, Butt-Head. 9 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,734 [chuckles] 10 00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,135 I got this instead. 11 00:00:35,202 --> 00:00:36,103 Yeah, see? 12 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,238 [chuckles] Check it out. 13 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,707 - What did you do that for, butthole? 14 00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:42,910 I wanted nachos. - I don't know. 15 00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,512 I just saw these, and, um, I've never had them before, 16 00:00:45,545 --> 00:00:47,714 you know, and they looked pretty good. 17 00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:48,982 [chuckles] 18 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,417 - Damn it, Beavis. 19 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:53,153 Well, let me try them, and I'll deal with you later. 20 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:56,556 [chuckles] 21 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:59,560 - That's what I'm talking about, mm-hmm. 22 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:00,928 Good stuff, yeah. 23 00:01:00,994 --> 00:01:01,895 [chuckles] Excellent. 24 00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:03,297 [chuckles] 25 00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,231 - God damn it, Beavis. 26 00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:08,068 [chuckles] These things are terrible. 27 00:01:08,135 --> 00:01:10,570 They're like vegetables or something. 28 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,639 [chuckles] 29 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:12,873 - No, no, no, they're really good. 30 00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:14,408 Yeah, mmm. 31 00:01:14,475 --> 00:01:17,445 Yeah, it's great how they, um, kind of make your lips tingle. 32 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:19,313 You know what I'm saying? 33 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,947 See? [chuckles] 34 00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,650 - Uh, no, they don't. 35 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:24,985 [chuckles] - Yeah, they do. 36 00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,755 [chuckles] I can barely feel my lips at all. 37 00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:30,457 [chuckles] Yeah, delicious. 38 00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:31,958 [chuckles] 39 00:01:32,058 --> 00:01:33,560 - Uh, Beavis? 40 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:35,295 [chuckles] - Yeah? 41 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:36,329 What? 42 00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,932 [chuckles] Mmm, so good. 43 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:40,267 [chuckles] 44 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,770 - Uh, you, like, got ugly or something. 45 00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:46,806 [chuckles] I mean, you were always pretty ugly, though, so, 46 00:01:46,907 --> 00:01:48,875 never mind, I guess. 47 00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,945 - Butt-Head, can you help me get these nuts out of here? 48 00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:54,715 My hands don't fit in the can anymore for some reason. 49 00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:56,549 [sighs] Oh, well. 50 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,052 I guess I'll just pour them in there. 51 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,955 [chuckles] Mm-hmm. 52 00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:04,592 Tastes so good, my tongue's getting big. 53 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:07,961 [coughs] It's just filling up my entire... 54 00:02:08,028 --> 00:02:10,531 [coughing] 55 00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:11,932 my entire throat. 56 00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:15,302 - It's filling your entire what? 57 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,004 Beavis, you ugly son of a bitch. 58 00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,705 How am I supposed to know what you're talking about 59 00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,073 if I can't understand a word you're saying? 60 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,074 - Mmm. 61 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,309 [coughs] So good. 62 00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:24,078 [gags] 63 00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:27,013 - Uh-- oh, well. 64 00:02:27,113 --> 00:02:29,416 Now I'll never know what his tongue was filling up. 65 00:02:29,483 --> 00:02:32,986 [chuckles] I'm gonna go get some nachos. 66 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,588 [chuckles] 67 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:36,256 -♪ I met a guy in the summer ♪ 68 00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,724 ♪ And I left him in the spring ♪ 69 00:02:37,791 --> 00:02:40,360 ♪ He argued with me about everything ♪ 70 00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,631 ♪ He had an ego and a temper and a wandering eye ♪ 71 00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:44,931 ♪ He said he's 6 foot 2 ♪ 72 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:46,567 - Huh. 73 00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:49,503 Some of these girls look like Olivia Rodrigo, you know? 74 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,371 Like that one. 75 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,007 See, and that one. 76 00:02:53,074 --> 00:02:54,441 See what I'm saying? 77 00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:58,178 - Uh, they're all Olivia Rodrigo, dumbass. 78 00:02:58,245 --> 00:02:59,180 [chuckles] 79 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,581 - Whoa, really? 80 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,349 Now, see, her putting herself in this video 81 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:04,051 over and over again like that, it's 82 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:07,988 like taking jobs away from, like, 20 other hot chicks. 83 00:03:08,054 --> 00:03:09,990 It's not fair. 84 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,058 - Yeah, really. 85 00:03:11,125 --> 00:03:12,960 [chuckles] It's messed up. 86 00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,929 - You know, it's hard enough for hot chicks to get jobs. 87 00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,465 I mean, just look around. 88 00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,600 They never seem to be working. 89 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,701 [chuckles] 90 00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:22,136 - That's right. 91 00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,505 [chuckles] Because hot chicks have a "smegma" 92 00:03:24,571 --> 00:03:26,173 attached to them or something. 93 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:27,140 [chuckles] 94 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,575 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 95 00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:33,146 Because society has "smegmatized" them. 96 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,483 And then they have to, like, be a hot chick for, like, 97 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,885 50 years just to afford a house. 98 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:39,887 [chuckles] 99 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:41,254 - That's right, Beavis. 100 00:03:41,321 --> 00:03:43,924 And hot chicks take the jobs that most Americans 101 00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,225 aren't willing to do. 102 00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:46,260 [chuckles] 103 00:03:46,293 --> 00:03:47,294 - Yeah, yeah, exactly. 104 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:48,295 [chuckles] 105 00:03:48,396 --> 00:03:50,263 - [chuckles] Job. 106 00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:55,569 [both chuckling] 107 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:59,840 - You know-- you know, in all seriousness, you know, 108 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:03,077 if I, like, had a clone, I'm pretty 109 00:04:03,144 --> 00:04:04,678 sure I could kick his ass. 110 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:06,246 Yeah. [chuckles] 111 00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:09,483 - [chuckles] The only thing you'd beat is your meat. 112 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,151 [chuckles] 113 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,419 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 114 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:13,820 Yeah. 115 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,389 Wait a second. 116 00:04:15,455 --> 00:04:16,957 Wait a second. 117 00:04:17,023 --> 00:04:18,792 I just thought of something else. 118 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:23,264 So like, if I had a clone and then the clone sat on his hand 119 00:04:23,330 --> 00:04:27,434 until it was numb, and then he spanked my monkey, 120 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,470 then it would feel like someone else, yeah. 121 00:04:29,537 --> 00:04:30,570 [chuckles] 122 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:32,373 - Damn it, Beavis. 123 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:33,674 You're a genius. 124 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:37,611 [chuckles] We got to get cloned. 125 00:04:37,677 --> 00:04:38,646 - Yeah, yeah. 126 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,280 Yeah, as soon as possible. 127 00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:41,716 [chuckles] 128 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,417 [distant siren wailing] 129 00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:46,353 - Now, you went into what's called anaphylactic shock. 130 00:04:46,453 --> 00:04:48,989 You're lucky it only took an hour for someone to find you 131 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,057 and call 911. 132 00:04:50,124 --> 00:04:51,091 - Yeah, that's cool, yeah. 133 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,693 [chuckles] 134 00:04:52,759 --> 00:04:55,463 - I think you may have had an adverse reaction to nuts. 135 00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,499 - [chuckles] Yeah, nut. 136 00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,267 Yeah, I like to nut, you know. 137 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:02,870 [chuckles] It's one of my passions. 138 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:03,904 You know what I'm saying? 139 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,406 [chuckles] Nut. 140 00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:10,010 - Now, did you have any nuts today? 141 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,312 - As a matter of fact, I did. 142 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,515 [chuckles] It was in the shower. 143 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:16,717 You know, I kind of use the shower curtain 144 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,051 and some conditioner, you know. 145 00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,453 [chuckles] 146 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,521 - Huh. 147 00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:21,588 How often are you having nuts? 148 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,256 - Oh, I don't know. 149 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:26,326 Sometimes, like, four or five nuts a day or something. 150 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,761 [chuckles] 151 00:05:27,828 --> 00:05:30,231 - And when you have a nut, how do you feel? 152 00:05:30,297 --> 00:05:31,499 - Oh, I mean, you know, good. 153 00:05:31,565 --> 00:05:32,833 That's why I do it. Yeah. 154 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:33,801 [chuckles] 155 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:34,968 - Interesting. 156 00:05:35,035 --> 00:05:36,303 - These questions are weird. 157 00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:37,571 [chuckles] 158 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,106 - I'm afraid what's happening here 159 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,809 is you're allergic to nuts. 160 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:42,843 - What? 161 00:05:42,877 --> 00:05:44,344 [chuckles] 162 00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:46,846 - It appears to be a very serious nut allergy. 163 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,950 And I'm going to need you to cut out nuts altogether. 164 00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:51,051 - No way. 165 00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:52,286 Are you serious? 166 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:53,620 - Very. 167 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:54,955 If you have another nut, you could die. 168 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:55,889 - No! 169 00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,324 No! 170 00:05:57,390 --> 00:06:00,293 - You're going to be OK as long as you are 171 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,329 very careful to avoid nuts. 172 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:04,632 - OK, can I have a nut if it's with a chick? 173 00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:06,132 - Absolutely not. 174 00:06:06,232 --> 00:06:07,767 - This sucks! 175 00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:10,404 What if I nut on accident 'cause-- 'cause Megan Pisarchik 176 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,906 bends over or something? 177 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:13,573 - Look, you just have to be very careful. 178 00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,209 I would avoid even touching a nut. 179 00:06:15,276 --> 00:06:16,509 - I don't want to do that. 180 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:17,611 That's disgusting! 181 00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:18,946 [chuckles] 182 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,514 - If it makes you feel any better, 183 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,149 I'm allergic to nuts myself. 184 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:24,652 And I haven't had a nut for over 20 years. 185 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,319 - Why would that make me feel better? 186 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:27,621 That you're a wuss? 187 00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:29,189 God damn it! 188 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,559 - It drives my wife crazy because she loves nuts but 189 00:06:31,625 --> 00:06:33,226 can't have them in the house. 190 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,129 - This is the worst day of my life! 191 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:36,296 Damn it! 192 00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:42,769 Butt-Head, 193 00:06:42,869 --> 00:06:45,305 I can never spank my monkey again. 194 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,642 And I can never score or I will die. 195 00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:50,110 [chuckles] 196 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:51,946 - Uh, really? 197 00:06:52,046 --> 00:06:53,914 - Yes, it's true. 198 00:06:53,948 --> 00:06:55,215 [chuckles] 199 00:06:55,282 --> 00:06:57,517 - Uh, then I guess your nads are only 200 00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,286 good for one thing, Beavis. 201 00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,155 [chuckles] - What's that? 202 00:07:01,222 --> 00:07:02,555 - [grunts] 203 00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:05,792 - Ahh! Why do they still have to hurt? 204 00:07:09,629 --> 00:07:12,532 [somber operatic music] 205 00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:15,770 [girls giggling] 206 00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,138 - I wish we could wear our skirts shorter. 207 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:22,943 - Don't even look, Beavis, unless you want to die. 208 00:07:23,009 --> 00:07:28,248 ♪ ♪ 209 00:07:28,315 --> 00:07:30,818 Just keep walking. 210 00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:33,387 It's the only way to survive. 211 00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:40,460 ♪ ♪ 212 00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:51,338 ♪ ♪ 213 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:53,774 - Hey, are you OK? 214 00:07:53,841 --> 00:07:55,709 Your name is Baxter, right? 215 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:57,778 - Eh, it doesn't matter. 216 00:07:57,845 --> 00:07:59,313 [chuckles] 217 00:07:59,380 --> 00:08:01,048 - I just joined the Highland Teen Outreach Program, 218 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,451 and you look like you might be depressed. 219 00:08:03,517 --> 00:08:04,751 - Yeah. 220 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,821 The doctor gave me some very bad news. 221 00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,088 Very bad. 222 00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:09,956 [chuckles] 223 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,492 - Oh, no. 224 00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,927 The same thing happened to my aunt because she smoked. 225 00:08:14,027 --> 00:08:16,296 - Your aunt can't spank her monkey? 226 00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:20,534 - Baxter, I just want you to know if you need support, 227 00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:23,103 Teen Outreach is here for you. 228 00:08:23,204 --> 00:08:24,671 - Boi-oi-oi. No! 229 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:26,206 No! Help! Help! 230 00:08:26,273 --> 00:08:27,775 I don't want to die! No, no! 231 00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:28,976 I'm sorry I got a boner. 232 00:08:29,043 --> 00:08:30,377 No! 233 00:08:30,411 --> 00:08:31,879 Help! [chuckles] 234 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:36,416 - Well, Beavis, you almost died five times today. 235 00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,451 [chuckles] 236 00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:38,452 - Oh, boy. 237 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:39,786 [chuckles] 238 00:08:39,886 --> 00:08:41,589 - Every day for the rest of your life 239 00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,056 is going to be like this. 240 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:46,626 [chuckles] You have nothing to live for. 241 00:08:46,727 --> 00:08:48,261 - No way, Butt-Head! 242 00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:50,765 There's still, like, things I can enjoy. 243 00:08:50,865 --> 00:08:52,299 Like, mixed nuts are good. 244 00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:53,733 [chuckles] - Yeah, yeah. 245 00:08:53,767 --> 00:08:54,835 They never hurt anybody, you know? 246 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:55,903 - Oh, yeah. 247 00:08:55,970 --> 00:08:57,671 Those weren't so bad after all. 248 00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:01,075 - [coughing] 249 00:09:01,142 --> 00:09:03,543 [yelling, coughing] 250 00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,979 Tasty. 251 00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,481 - Uh-- oh, well. 252 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:08,782 More for me. 253 00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:09,817 [chuckles] 254 00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,820 - [choking] Pretty good. 255 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,856 [whimsical militaristic music] 256 00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:22,329 ♪ ♪ 257 00:09:22,429 --> 00:09:24,231 - War is hell. 258 00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,233 That's what they tell you. 259 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,603 But sometimes, even in the middle of a war, 260 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:34,608 there can blossom the tender flower they call love. 261 00:09:34,674 --> 00:09:36,810 [light orchestral music] 262 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:40,447 I was in the hospital after being injured while doing 263 00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:43,817 routine maintenance on a Jeep during the Battle 264 00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,419 of Bloody Ridge. 265 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:47,554 ♪ ♪ 266 00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,822 Nurse? 267 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:49,924 Nurse? 268 00:09:49,990 --> 00:09:53,894 ♪ ♪ 269 00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,397 Are you my nurse? 270 00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,698 - Mm-hmm. 271 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,265 - Well, I just wanted to tell you, 272 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:02,336 somebody didn't set up this IV right. 273 00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:05,639 See, an IV depends on gravity to push 274 00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:07,508 the fluid through the tubing. 275 00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,744 So you have to hang your fluid supply at least three feet 276 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,514 above the patient's heart or you won't have enough pressure 277 00:10:13,581 --> 00:10:16,584 for the fluid to fully infuse into the vein. 278 00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:19,953 Now, somebody probably told you to get more flow, 279 00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,222 all you need to do is loosen that clamp. 280 00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:25,359 And sure, that'll raise your drip rate up to a point, 281 00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:28,395 but at the end of the day, what's going to get it done 282 00:10:28,462 --> 00:10:32,399 is gravitational pressure. 283 00:10:32,466 --> 00:10:35,135 And what happened to that nurse? 284 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:38,205 Well, I made her my wife. 285 00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,506 - Mm-hmm. 286 00:10:39,606 --> 00:10:41,408 - But that's a tale for the next " 287 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,143 "Tom Anderson's War Stories." 288 00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:44,444 [chuckles] 289 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:47,314 [whimsical militaristic music] 290 00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:51,852 [chuckling] 291 00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:54,822 [bluesy rock music] 292 00:10:54,888 --> 00:11:00,160 ♪ ♪ 293 00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:11,438 - [grunting] 294 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,941 [sighs] Magnet fishing kicks ass. 295 00:11:14,041 --> 00:11:14,942 Yeah. 296 00:11:15,009 --> 00:11:16,343 [chuckles] 297 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,446 - Now, pull up something good this time, dumbass, 298 00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:23,050 like a rusty gun or, like, gold. 299 00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,117 - Whoa! 300 00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:25,085 Whoa, Butt-Head. 301 00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:26,153 I got something big. 302 00:11:26,253 --> 00:11:27,621 [grunting] 303 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,057 [both grunting] 304 00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:33,026 - Ahh! 305 00:11:33,093 --> 00:11:34,061 Augh! 306 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:37,798 Butt-Head, it's crushing my-- 307 00:11:37,898 --> 00:11:39,266 my ribs. 308 00:11:39,299 --> 00:11:42,703 - Stop fooling around with the magnet, dumbass. 309 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:45,339 We're trying to make some money here. 310 00:11:45,406 --> 00:11:46,373 Guh! 311 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:48,508 Uh! Uh! 312 00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:49,777 It's stuck to my pacemaker. 313 00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:50,944 [groans] 314 00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:53,214 - Whoa, cool. 315 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:56,650 - I don't feel so good. 316 00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:59,353 - What's a pacemaker even do anyway? 317 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,422 - Where am I? 318 00:12:01,488 --> 00:12:03,023 All I can see is a dot. 319 00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:04,157 Ugh. 320 00:12:04,191 --> 00:12:05,192 - Come on. 321 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,327 Quit hogging the magnet. 322 00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:09,696 [grunting] 323 00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:11,631 [water splashes] 324 00:12:11,698 --> 00:12:12,899 - [groaning] 325 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,134 - Whoa. 326 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:16,503 Whoa, I got something good, Butt-Head. 327 00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:17,871 Whoa! 328 00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,340 [chuckles] Whoa, check it out, Butt-Head. 329 00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,543 This is my bike from when I was a kid! 330 00:12:22,643 --> 00:12:24,611 It was a present from my mom's new boyfriend 331 00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:26,913 so I wouldn't tell her about his other family. 332 00:12:26,980 --> 00:12:28,515 Yeah. 333 00:12:28,582 --> 00:12:30,183 [chuckles] Here's where I scratched my name on the paint. 334 00:12:30,284 --> 00:12:31,251 See? 335 00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,954 [chuckles] Beavis. 336 00:12:34,021 --> 00:12:35,822 You liked it too, remember? 337 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,290 [dreamy harp music] 338 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,292 - It sucks. 339 00:12:38,359 --> 00:12:40,227 [chuckles] 340 00:12:40,294 --> 00:12:42,396 - You're just jealous because I got a present. 341 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,664 [chuckles] 342 00:12:43,730 --> 00:12:45,031 - No, I'm not. 343 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,900 I'm, like, happy for you or something. 344 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:47,868 - [grunts] 345 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,202 ♪ ♪ 346 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:52,106 - And then one day, someone stole it. 347 00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:53,907 ♪ ♪ 348 00:12:54,808 --> 00:12:56,009 - [grunts] 349 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,412 [chuckles] 350 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,081 ♪ ♪ 351 00:13:00,147 --> 00:13:02,616 - Someday I'm going to find out who it was. 352 00:13:02,683 --> 00:13:04,618 And I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life 353 00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,319 to kicking their ass. 354 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,354 Yeah. 355 00:13:07,421 --> 00:13:08,856 [chuckles] 356 00:13:08,923 --> 00:13:12,193 - Beavis, I have something I need to tell you. 357 00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:13,193 - Yeah? 358 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:15,095 What is it? 359 00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,131 - It was Stewart. 360 00:13:17,198 --> 00:13:20,701 [chuckles] 361 00:13:20,768 --> 00:13:21,635 - Stewart. 362 00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,904 [ominous music] 363 00:13:23,938 --> 00:13:28,709 - ♪ Can we go back to how it was ♪ 364 00:13:28,776 --> 00:13:30,644 ♪ Before my pride got ♪ 365 00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,912 - What's going on with this girl? 366 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:33,013 She looks kind of weird. 367 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,281 [chuckles] 368 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:36,316 - Uh, that's not a girl. 369 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,684 It's Kid Laroi. 370 00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:38,685 [chuckles] 371 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,754 - No, I mean the other girl. 372 00:13:39,820 --> 00:13:41,388 The blonde one, you know? 373 00:13:41,455 --> 00:13:44,224 [chuckles] Something's, uh-- something's going on. 374 00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:48,462 - Uh, I think, like, this is LA. 375 00:13:48,562 --> 00:13:51,665 And they say, like, people in LA are all plastic. 376 00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:54,868 They get their faces shot full of brobloxin. 377 00:13:54,935 --> 00:13:59,440 [chuckles] It works, though, because I bet she's, like, 50. 378 00:13:59,507 --> 00:14:00,574 [chuckles] 379 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,942 - Whoa. 380 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,510 [chuckles] I think she's, like, not real. 381 00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:04,644 [chuckles] 382 00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:06,547 - Uh-- oh, yeah. 383 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,649 She's, like, a love doll. 384 00:14:08,716 --> 00:14:10,317 [chuckles] 385 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,318 - Oh, really? 386 00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,686 What do you mean? 387 00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,322 - Yeah, she's just, like, a life-sized doll. 388 00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,624 And you can do whatever you want to her. 389 00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:18,592 [chuckles] 390 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:20,127 - Whoa. 391 00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,962 Whoa. 392 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,164 Whoa. 393 00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:25,865 So you can do whatever you want? 394 00:14:25,966 --> 00:14:27,368 [chuckles] - Yep. 395 00:14:27,468 --> 00:14:29,069 [chuckles] - Wait, wait. 396 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:30,404 This is against the law, right? 397 00:14:30,471 --> 00:14:31,305 [chuckles] 398 00:14:31,405 --> 00:14:32,806 - No, I don't think so. 399 00:14:32,873 --> 00:14:34,241 [chuckles] 400 00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:35,909 - And how much does one of those things cost? 401 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,110 [chuckles] 402 00:14:37,144 --> 00:14:39,113 - Uh, I don't know. 403 00:14:39,180 --> 00:14:40,447 I think they're expensive. 404 00:14:40,481 --> 00:14:41,681 [chuckles] 405 00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,316 - Yeah, that's what I thought. 406 00:14:43,417 --> 00:14:44,318 Yep. 407 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,852 [chuckles] Wait a minute. 408 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:47,521 Maybe I could, like, make one. 409 00:14:47,621 --> 00:14:49,423 What are these things made of? 410 00:14:49,490 --> 00:14:50,991 - Uh, I don't know-- 411 00:14:51,091 --> 00:14:52,126 plastic or something? 412 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:53,626 [chuckles] - Yeah, yeah! 413 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,964 We could, like, get a bunch of plastic and melt it all down 414 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,832 and make one of those things. 415 00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:00,434 It can't be that hard. 416 00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:02,435 - Uh, it seems pretty hard. 417 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:05,672 [chuckles] You've gotta, like, mold a bunch of plastic 418 00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,674 into something that looks like a chick. 419 00:15:07,708 --> 00:15:09,176 [chuckles] 420 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:10,844 - It doesn't need to look that much like a chick. 421 00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,746 In fact, for what I have in mind, 422 00:15:12,813 --> 00:15:15,215 it doesn't need to look like a chick at all. 423 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:16,950 All we got to do is, uh-- 424 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,685 well, let me see. 425 00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,887 All it really needs is one thing. 426 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:24,324 [chuckles] Get this here. 427 00:15:24,391 --> 00:15:25,759 OK. 428 00:15:25,826 --> 00:15:27,595 Yeah, see, we got all these plastic bottles. 429 00:15:27,695 --> 00:15:30,430 [chuckles] I knew there was a reason we didn't recycle. 430 00:15:30,531 --> 00:15:32,900 Yeah. [chuckles] 431 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:34,801 [bottles clattering] 432 00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,503 Where'd you put the scissors, Butt-Head? 433 00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:38,238 - Uh, I don't know. 434 00:15:38,339 --> 00:15:39,406 [bottles clattering] 435 00:15:39,506 --> 00:15:40,441 - Get these. 436 00:15:40,507 --> 00:15:41,709 A drill maybe. 437 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,743 [drill whirring] 438 00:15:43,844 --> 00:15:45,345 Drill. [chuckles] 439 00:15:45,412 --> 00:15:47,981 - Beavis, if you're going to put a hole in this couch, 440 00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,449 I'm kicking your ass. 441 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,483 - Oh. 442 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,453 [chuckles] Oh, OK. 443 00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:54,021 Yeah, I'll think of something else. 444 00:15:54,088 --> 00:15:55,823 [chuckles] Oh, I know. 445 00:15:55,889 --> 00:15:56,857 I know. 446 00:15:56,924 --> 00:15:58,058 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the microwave. 447 00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,127 Yeah, check this out. 448 00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,229 [microwave keypad beeping] 449 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:04,798 [microwave whirring] 450 00:16:04,898 --> 00:16:05,833 - Uh, Beavis? 451 00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,034 - [coughs] 452 00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,769 - It smells like plastic's burning. 453 00:16:08,802 --> 00:16:10,804 - [coughing] Yeah, yeah. 454 00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:11,771 Yeah, it is. 455 00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:12,772 It's melting. 456 00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:13,807 Check it out. 457 00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,443 [coughs] Fire! Fire! 458 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:20,814 [coughs] I'm just gonna take this. 459 00:16:20,881 --> 00:16:22,716 Just set this here. 460 00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,651 Let me get my pants. 461 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:29,623 Now, just, uh-- just shape it to my schlong, see? 462 00:16:29,723 --> 00:16:30,623 Come to papa. 463 00:16:30,724 --> 00:16:31,959 Ahh! 464 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:35,529 - [chuckles] Dumbass. 465 00:16:35,596 --> 00:16:36,530 - Ow. 466 00:16:36,597 --> 00:16:37,597 Ah! 467 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:40,267 God damn it. 468 00:16:40,334 --> 00:16:41,601 There's Stewart's house. 469 00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,137 Goddamn dirty butthole. 470 00:16:44,237 --> 00:16:47,274 [doorbell rings] Stupid son of a bitch. 471 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,442 Stole my bike. 472 00:16:48,542 --> 00:16:49,442 - That's right. 473 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,878 He sure did. 474 00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:53,781 When he opens this door, you should kick his ass. 475 00:16:53,848 --> 00:16:56,616 [chuckles] 476 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,451 - Beavis and Butt-Head? 477 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,888 You finally came over to visit. 478 00:17:00,955 --> 00:17:02,289 - Damn you, Stewart! 479 00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:03,924 I'm going to kick your ass because you stole-- 480 00:17:03,990 --> 00:17:05,793 - You want to come in for a beer? 481 00:17:05,860 --> 00:17:07,261 - A beer? Yeah, OK. 482 00:17:07,327 --> 00:17:08,863 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that sounds pretty good. 483 00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:09,864 Sure, yeah. 484 00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,565 Beer would hit the spot, yeah. 485 00:17:11,665 --> 00:17:12,966 [chuckles] 486 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,301 - This is what it's all about, right? 487 00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:15,803 - Mmm. 488 00:17:15,836 --> 00:17:18,172 - Beers with your best friends from high school. 489 00:17:18,272 --> 00:17:21,642 I mean, I'm not a big drinker, but Kaitlyn made some 490 00:17:21,675 --> 00:17:23,243 of her famous cucumber water. 491 00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,312 - Are there any more beers? 492 00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:26,913 - No, uh, sorry, guys. 493 00:17:26,980 --> 00:17:27,982 I think that's it. 494 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,416 - That's enough, Stewart! 495 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:30,651 There's a time in a man's life when he's 496 00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:32,152 not going to take it anymore! 497 00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:34,622 So today, I'm going to kick your fat ass-- 498 00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,123 - This is just like old times. 499 00:17:36,190 --> 00:17:37,524 Let's get some pizza. 500 00:17:37,625 --> 00:17:38,892 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, pizza sounds cool. 501 00:17:38,959 --> 00:17:40,394 Yeah. OK, yeah. 502 00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,396 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Buy us some pizza. 503 00:17:42,496 --> 00:17:43,497 [chuckles] 504 00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,566 - Man, we had some good times. 505 00:17:45,666 --> 00:17:47,434 Hey, remember when you locked me in the closet 506 00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,503 and forgot I was in there? 507 00:17:49,603 --> 00:17:51,972 You guys, always giving me the business-- 508 00:17:52,006 --> 00:17:53,373 - Shut up, butthole! 509 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:54,774 It's finally time to kick your ass-- 510 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,811 - Oh, Kaitlyn's home from the pool. 511 00:17:56,844 --> 00:17:58,512 - OK, yeah, let's check out what your wife looks 512 00:17:58,612 --> 00:17:59,846 like in a bathing suit. 513 00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:00,915 That'd be cool. Yeah. 514 00:18:01,015 --> 00:18:02,116 - Ooh, good idea. 515 00:18:02,183 --> 00:18:03,784 [chuckles] 516 00:18:03,884 --> 00:18:06,353 - Kaitlyn, honey, look who finally came over to visit me. 517 00:18:06,420 --> 00:18:09,256 - Oh, you must be Beavis and Butt-Head, Stewart's friends. 518 00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,693 Stewart's told me so much about how you were the three amigos. 519 00:18:12,760 --> 00:18:14,928 You know he talks about you constantly? 520 00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:16,663 So, what brings you by? 521 00:18:16,730 --> 00:18:20,367 - Um, wait, why would we ever come here? 522 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,601 Oh, yeah. 523 00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:23,904 Yeah, Stewart, you stole my bike. 524 00:18:23,971 --> 00:18:25,072 - This bike? 525 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,507 - That's right, butthole. 526 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,541 - Yeah. 527 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,675 Kick his ass. 528 00:18:28,742 --> 00:18:29,843 [chuckles] 529 00:18:29,910 --> 00:18:31,578 - Oh, no, you're misremembering. 530 00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:32,879 That's not what happened. 531 00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:33,981 [dreamy harp music] 532 00:18:34,048 --> 00:18:35,716 - Check out Beavis's bike. 533 00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:37,618 I'm going to throw it in the river. 534 00:18:37,685 --> 00:18:39,619 [chuckles] 535 00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:40,721 ♪ ♪ 536 00:18:40,754 --> 00:18:42,189 - But that's friendship, huh? 537 00:18:42,256 --> 00:18:43,690 People giving you the business. 538 00:18:43,757 --> 00:18:44,692 - Damn it! 539 00:18:44,758 --> 00:18:46,760 I'm gonna kill you, Butt-Head. 540 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,262 [lamp shattering] 541 00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:49,863 - [chuckles] - Ahh! 542 00:18:49,930 --> 00:18:51,265 - Damn it, Beavis, I'm gonna stick that 543 00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:52,599 up your butt sideways. 544 00:18:52,699 --> 00:18:53,867 - [yelling] 545 00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:56,803 - You like that, damn son of a bitch? 546 00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,539 [both shouting] 547 00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,374 - I've hated you for 30 years! 548 00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:02,610 I'm gonna kill you! Ahh! 549 00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:05,979 - Damn it, Beavis. - Ahh! 550 00:19:06,079 --> 00:19:07,147 - Don't worry, Kaitlyn. 551 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,114 I'll kick-- 552 00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:10,417 [grunting] 553 00:19:10,484 --> 00:19:13,453 - Guys, do you want some mini quiches? 554 00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:14,788 Kaitlyn made them for her book club, 555 00:19:14,855 --> 00:19:16,690 but you can have them if you want. 556 00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,425 - What? Huh? 557 00:19:18,492 --> 00:19:19,460 Oh, no, no. 558 00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:21,094 No, I'm stuffed. 559 00:19:21,161 --> 00:19:22,462 We ate a bunch of those little cheese pies in the fridge. 560 00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,464 Yeah. 561 00:19:23,530 --> 00:19:24,598 - They sucked. 562 00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,632 [grunts] 563 00:19:25,666 --> 00:19:26,733 - Ahh! - Ugh! 564 00:19:30,571 --> 00:19:33,040 [both grunting] - Guys? 565 00:19:33,107 --> 00:19:34,708 Hey, guys. 566 00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:35,742 Honey, I'm trying. 567 00:19:35,776 --> 00:19:36,743 - Damn it. 568 00:19:36,810 --> 00:19:38,245 [both grunting] 569 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:42,315 [both sighing] 570 00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:47,754 - Uh, sorry about that. 571 00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:49,222 [chuckles] 572 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:50,658 - Do you have any more beer? 573 00:19:50,758 --> 00:19:52,025 [chuckles] 574 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:58,865 - Is it OK if I sit in the back with Beavis and-- 575 00:19:58,932 --> 00:20:01,801 - No. 576 00:20:03,937 --> 00:20:05,605 - Thank you, Stewart's wife. 577 00:20:05,705 --> 00:20:07,374 Drive through. 578 00:20:07,441 --> 00:20:10,711 - Listen, Kaitlyn and I are really upset about the-- 579 00:20:10,778 --> 00:20:12,880 mostly great hang, guys. 580 00:20:12,946 --> 00:20:14,682 Maybe next time at your place. 581 00:20:14,748 --> 00:20:16,550 - Uh, no. 582 00:20:16,617 --> 00:20:17,618 [chuckles] 583 00:20:17,685 --> 00:20:18,719 - Classic. 584 00:20:18,785 --> 00:20:20,587 You guys. 585 00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:23,323 [tires squealing] 586 00:20:23,423 --> 00:20:26,393 - [chuckles] Stewart sucks. 587 00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:27,628 [chuckles] 588 00:20:27,728 --> 00:20:28,862 - Yeah, really. 589 00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,730 [chuckles] Hey, Butt-Head, I think 590 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,099 we got enough coins out of the river to get the bike fixed. 591 00:20:33,133 --> 00:20:36,603 - Uh, that means it's enough money to buy beer 592 00:20:36,703 --> 00:20:38,272 with, dumbass. 593 00:20:38,372 --> 00:20:39,706 - Oh, yeah, yeah. 594 00:20:39,773 --> 00:20:41,942 Yeah, beer rules. 595 00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,644 [grunts] 596 00:20:43,710 --> 00:20:45,712 You're a good friend, Butt-Head. 597 00:20:45,779 --> 00:20:46,913 [chuckles] 598 00:20:46,947 --> 00:20:48,349 - You're damn right. 599 00:20:48,415 --> 00:20:50,717 [rock music] 600 00:20:54,388 --> 00:20:57,191 [bluesy rock music] 601 00:20:57,257 --> 00:21:04,397 ♪ ♪ 602 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,313 - Chirp.